all my instincts were completely off
i passed!!
and with a B minus
not so bad for someone who expected to fail.
now every promise i made two/three posts ago i need to keep
1. lose weight!
2. study constantly and competently
and thats all i have to do.these two things. and i will do it. i don't really love what i'm doing, but since i'm stuck in it, i have to complete it. and thats what i'll do.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
D-DAY
this is it.
its 2pm malaysian time
results will be out in an hour
i can only hope for the best
but i have this horrible sinking feeling
i dont think i've made it this time
oh snap.
its 2pm malaysian time
results will be out in an hour
i can only hope for the best
but i have this horrible sinking feeling
i dont think i've made it this time
oh snap.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
i lied
remember when i said i was done worrying?guess what...yeah thats right..i LIED.
who am i kidding?i've been having nasty moments the whole week wondering if i've passed or not.lets be completely honest here. i've done some calculations, not very accurate ones, lower than i think i'll get and guess what?i've FAILED!!!!FUCK am i in SO MUCH TROUBLE!!!!!and to be honest the papers were actually really fair this time. i can't believe i'm going to fail... AGAIN.why does this always happen to meeeeeee?????
because i don't study enough.its true. i can lie till i'm blue in the face to my parents, and my friends but i shdn't lie to myself. yes, i don't study enough. i amble along hoping that whatever i do is enough and that it'll come out. but its not, and it won't.
FUCK
i'm so tired of this
if by some miracle i pass, which i will find out the day after tomorrow, i promise never to get to this point again. i'm going to study, CONTINOUSLY. i'm going to be so prepared that i will be able to answer anything and not have to crap my answers, like i've done so far.i NEED to do well. this is going to stop. no more procrastinating, no more lying and most of all NO MORE YOUTUBE so close to the exams. i hate youtube.
and my parents!!!God my dad's going to bring up every single time he's caught me on the laptop,NOT STUDYING, and bring it up again when i fail.FUCK i HATE when that happens.my mum's going to be soooooooo DISSAPOINTED!!!!!!!!!
gaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET ME PASS!!!!PLEEEAAAAAASEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
ps:i apologize for the profanity in this post, i usually don't swear at all...but these are trying times.
who am i kidding?i've been having nasty moments the whole week wondering if i've passed or not.lets be completely honest here. i've done some calculations, not very accurate ones, lower than i think i'll get and guess what?i've FAILED!!!!FUCK am i in SO MUCH TROUBLE!!!!!and to be honest the papers were actually really fair this time. i can't believe i'm going to fail... AGAIN.why does this always happen to meeeeeee?????
because i don't study enough.its true. i can lie till i'm blue in the face to my parents, and my friends but i shdn't lie to myself. yes, i don't study enough. i amble along hoping that whatever i do is enough and that it'll come out. but its not, and it won't.
FUCK
i'm so tired of this
if by some miracle i pass, which i will find out the day after tomorrow, i promise never to get to this point again. i'm going to study, CONTINOUSLY. i'm going to be so prepared that i will be able to answer anything and not have to crap my answers, like i've done so far.i NEED to do well. this is going to stop. no more procrastinating, no more lying and most of all NO MORE YOUTUBE so close to the exams. i hate youtube.
and my parents!!!God my dad's going to bring up every single time he's caught me on the laptop,NOT STUDYING, and bring it up again when i fail.FUCK i HATE when that happens.my mum's going to be soooooooo DISSAPOINTED!!!!!!!!!
gaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET ME PASS!!!!PLEEEAAAAAASEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
ps:i apologize for the profanity in this post, i usually don't swear at all...but these are trying times.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Exams are over...hallelujah!!
urgh...completely screwed up my last station in my clinical skills examination on thursday...why?the last thing i had to do before finishing this Godawful paper and i blew it. oh well...things happen...i'm hoping i pass.i'm done worrying.i'm going to enjoy my week break.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Ode to Coffee
Coffee you are my bestie
You wake me up when I am sleepy
So that I can study my pathology
You make sure that my eyes aren’t droopy
Like a dude with Horner’s syndrome-y
Without you my life would be so empty
Because I would be struggling constantly
To stay awake to groan and moan
Over my Godd**n pharmacology
So thank you coffee for making life easier
For making me an addict so dear
That needed to rhyme I fear
Which explains the lame ode here!!!
rofl.sorry I had to put you all through that. Sometimes, I get an attack of acute lameness and then, everyone else has to suffer as well. hard to believe i'm a med studdent, innit?
You wake me up when I am sleepy
So that I can study my pathology
You make sure that my eyes aren’t droopy
Like a dude with Horner’s syndrome-y
Without you my life would be so empty
Because I would be struggling constantly
To stay awake to groan and moan
Over my Godd**n pharmacology
So thank you coffee for making life easier
For making me an addict so dear
That needed to rhyme I fear
Which explains the lame ode here!!!
rofl.sorry I had to put you all through that. Sometimes, I get an attack of acute lameness and then, everyone else has to suffer as well. hard to believe i'm a med studdent, innit?
New Song
no title yet.
there's a place deep inside me
that'll forever remain empty
coz i've given so much of me
that i can't seem to gain back
all my life, i've strived to your word
climbing higher, growing taller
my hands reach out to grasp
for a star that'll never shine for me
what will i do when i fall
from this road that i can't call my own?
what will you do when i go?
when i try to follow my own voice?
what will it take for you?
to see me in all my truth?
beneath the lies that i am
that i've told to be the one you want
dreams that burn so brightly
for others, don't come to me easily
because all my life i've told myself
that you won't love me for myself
i need to learn how to be
the person that i am inside
without the fear that you leave in me
that i would never be good enough
there's a place deep inside me
that'll forever remain empty
coz i've given so much of me
that i can't seem to gain back
all my life, i've strived to your word
climbing higher, growing taller
my hands reach out to grasp
for a star that'll never shine for me
what will i do when i fall
from this road that i can't call my own?
what will you do when i go?
when i try to follow my own voice?
what will it take for you?
to see me in all my truth?
beneath the lies that i am
that i've told to be the one you want
dreams that burn so brightly
for others, don't come to me easily
because all my life i've told myself
that you won't love me for myself
i need to learn how to be
the person that i am inside
without the fear that you leave in me
that i would never be good enough
Tired
Soooooooooooo tired...todays paper was HORRIBLE!!!!!
God, i hope everyone did badly and they lower the passing mark enough that i pass...i CANNOT FAIL!!!!!!!!urgh.why am i working soooooo hard and getting back so little?
God, i hope everyone did badly and they lower the passing mark enough that i pass...i CANNOT FAIL!!!!!!!!urgh.why am i working soooooo hard and getting back so little?
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