i lied

remember when i said i was done worrying?guess what...yeah thats right..i LIED.
who am i kidding?i've been having nasty moments the whole week wondering if i've passed or not.lets be completely honest here. i've done some calculations, not very accurate ones, lower than i think i'll get and guess what?i've FAILED!!!!FUCK am i in SO MUCH TROUBLE!!!!!and to be honest the papers were actually really fair this time. i can't believe i'm going to fail... AGAIN.why does this always happen to meeeeeee?????
because i don't study enough.its true. i can lie till i'm blue in the face to my parents, and my friends but i shdn't lie to myself. yes, i don't study enough. i amble along hoping that whatever i do is enough and that it'll come out. but its not, and it won't.
FUCK
i'm so tired of this
if by some miracle i pass, which i will find out the day after tomorrow, i promise never to get to this point again. i'm going to study, CONTINOUSLY. i'm going to be so prepared that i will be able to answer anything and not have to crap my answers, like i've done so far.i NEED to do well. this is going to stop. no more procrastinating, no more lying and most of all NO MORE YOUTUBE so close to the exams. i hate youtube.
and my parents!!!God my dad's going to bring up every single time he's caught me on the laptop,NOT STUDYING, and bring it up again when i fail.FUCK i HATE when that happens.my mum's going to be soooooooo DISSAPOINTED!!!!!!!!!
gaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET ME PASS!!!!PLEEEAAAAAASEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

ps:i apologize for the profanity in this post, i usually don't swear at all...but these are trying times.