Coffee you are my bestie
You wake me up when I am sleepy
So that I can study my pathology
You make sure that my eyes aren’t droopy
Like a dude with Horner’s syndrome-y
Without you my life would be so empty
Because I would be struggling constantly
To stay awake to groan and moan
Over my Godd**n pharmacology
So thank you coffee for making life easier
For making me an addict so dear
That needed to rhyme I fear
Which explains the lame ode here!!!
rofl.sorry I had to put you all through that. Sometimes, I get an attack of acute lameness and then, everyone else has to suffer as well. hard to believe i'm a med studdent, innit?
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
New Song
no title yet.
there's a place deep inside me
that'll forever remain empty
coz i've given so much of me
that i can't seem to gain back
all my life, i've strived to your word
climbing higher, growing taller
my hands reach out to grasp
for a star that'll never shine for me
what will i do when i fall
from this road that i can't call my own?
what will you do when i go?
when i try to follow my own voice?
what will it take for you?
to see me in all my truth?
beneath the lies that i am
that i've told to be the one you want
dreams that burn so brightly
for others, don't come to me easily
because all my life i've told myself
that you won't love me for myself
i need to learn how to be
the person that i am inside
without the fear that you leave in me
that i would never be good enough
there's a place deep inside me
that'll forever remain empty
coz i've given so much of me
that i can't seem to gain back
all my life, i've strived to your word
climbing higher, growing taller
my hands reach out to grasp
for a star that'll never shine for me
what will i do when i fall
from this road that i can't call my own?
what will you do when i go?
when i try to follow my own voice?
what will it take for you?
to see me in all my truth?
beneath the lies that i am
that i've told to be the one you want
dreams that burn so brightly
for others, don't come to me easily
because all my life i've told myself
that you won't love me for myself
i need to learn how to be
the person that i am inside
without the fear that you leave in me
that i would never be good enough
Tired
Soooooooooooo tired...todays paper was HORRIBLE!!!!!
God, i hope everyone did badly and they lower the passing mark enough that i pass...i CANNOT FAIL!!!!!!!!urgh.why am i working soooooo hard and getting back so little?
God, i hope everyone did badly and they lower the passing mark enough that i pass...i CANNOT FAIL!!!!!!!!urgh.why am i working soooooo hard and getting back so little?
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Just Do It!!
one day before my biatch exam...well i've studied as best as i can, as much as i can...going all for it today. i just want to pass..i cannot fail since my parents and sister are back from canada and they'll be going home in august.i MUST pass!!!and i will.last day, do as much as i can as fast as i can. God help me remember.
loves.
loves.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
stressed...again
i dont know why i'm doing medicine
its not like i'm a brilliant student
yes i can pass exams...that doesnt prove anything...all it says is that i have the ability to take in information and vomit it out when its needed
i dont have the passion for this anymore
i dont think i ever did
i think lost passion is sad...and doing what u have no passion for, is even sadder.
i dont know why i'm doing medicine
its not like i'm a brilliant student
yes i can pass exams...that doesnt prove anything...all it says is that i have the ability to take in information and vomit it out when its needed
i dont have the passion for this anymore
i dont think i ever did
i think lost passion is sad...and doing what u have no passion for, is even sadder.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Stress stress stress.
Can i pass a major medical exam in 10 days?Lets assume i haven't been studying the past 5 months or so (i have, i've also been procrastinating alot), and say i have 138 lecture notes to finish ( i do, i counted). lets say i've done about 38, meaning i have 100 more to go. out of the 1o days, 5 is for revision...so that means i have 5 days to do 100 notes!!!which means on average i need to do 20 notes a day!!WHATTTT???
the thing is i dont have much of a choice... I HAVE TO PASS!!!! I cannot fail...i CANNOT CANNOT CANNOT fail!!!omg!!! i just CAN'T!!!life would suck sooo bad if i did...plus there's that little matter of already failing before and having to repeat 1 year of med school. yes thats right, i've failed before, meaning i should've learnt my lesson then and started studying alot earlier...ALOT earlier...but do i do that?NOOO, i carry on like as if i have nothing to worry about and NOT study which is BAD!!!Gargh. i hate my life.
so its 6.30 in the evening and i've only done 1 and a half lectures...and i have another 19 more to go. guess who's going to be pulling an all nighter? Coffee, you are my best friend during exams.
the thing is i dont have much of a choice... I HAVE TO PASS!!!! I cannot fail...i CANNOT CANNOT CANNOT fail!!!omg!!! i just CAN'T!!!life would suck sooo bad if i did...plus there's that little matter of already failing before and having to repeat 1 year of med school. yes thats right, i've failed before, meaning i should've learnt my lesson then and started studying alot earlier...ALOT earlier...but do i do that?NOOO, i carry on like as if i have nothing to worry about and NOT study which is BAD!!!Gargh. i hate my life.
so its 6.30 in the evening and i've only done 1 and a half lectures...and i have another 19 more to go. guess who's going to be pulling an all nighter? Coffee, you are my best friend during exams.
Congenital Heart Disease Part 3
Obstructive Congenital Heart Disease
1. Coarctation of Aorta - local constriciton of aorta almost always below the origin of the left subclavian artery at the site of the ductus arteriosus. 2 classic forms- infantile and adult. accompanied by bicuspid aortic valve (normally semilunar valves have three cusps). associated with saccular aneurysm of CNS and is associated with Turner's syndrome.
complications - rupture of dissecting anneurysm, IE, heart failure, cerebral haemorrhage (lots of blood to the brain because pathway to body is cut off), stenosis or endocarditis of bicuspid aortic valve.
2. Obstructive congenital anomalies - Aortic stenosis and atresia - 3 major types
a. valvular - most common, fusion of 2/3 semilunar cusps - resulting in bicuspid aortic valve, which then becomes thickened and calcified. results in hypoplastic left heart syndrome
b. subvalvular - abnormal band of subvalvular fibroelastic tissue, thickening and immobility of aortic cusps.
c. supravalvular - stenosis above the valve.
1. Coarctation of Aorta - local constriciton of aorta almost always below the origin of the left subclavian artery at the site of the ductus arteriosus. 2 classic forms- infantile and adult. accompanied by bicuspid aortic valve (normally semilunar valves have three cusps). associated with saccular aneurysm of CNS and is associated with Turner's syndrome.
complications - rupture of dissecting anneurysm, IE, heart failure, cerebral haemorrhage (lots of blood to the brain because pathway to body is cut off), stenosis or endocarditis of bicuspid aortic valve.
2. Obstructive congenital anomalies - Aortic stenosis and atresia - 3 major types
a. valvular - most common, fusion of 2/3 semilunar cusps - resulting in bicuspid aortic valve, which then becomes thickened and calcified. results in hypoplastic left heart syndrome
b. subvalvular - abnormal band of subvalvular fibroelastic tissue, thickening and immobility of aortic cusps.
c. supravalvular - stenosis above the valve.
Congenital heart disease part 2.
Left to Right shunt (acyanotic initially - no central cyanosis in early stages of life)
1. Patent Ductus Arteriosus - connection between pulmonary artery and arch of aorta does not close after birth. normally closes due to increase O2 tension, decreased pulmonary vascular resistance and decreased PgE. ductal closure may be delayed due to hypoxia, prematurity or cardiac disease. treatment - surgery or Pg inhibitors. Machinary like murmur common.
2. Atrial Septal Defect (ASD) - abnormal opening in the interatrial septum. Asymptomatic till adulthood. 4 major types - Ostium primum type, ostium secundum type, patent foramen ovale and sinus venosus defect.
- 1. Ostium primum type - infrequent, involves region adjacent to endocardial cushions. there are clefts in the anterior leaflet of the mitral valve and the septal leaflet of the tricuspid valve.
- 2. Ostium Secundum type - most common. Is due to a true defieciency in interatrial septal wall (unlike patent foramen ovale) and varies in size. shunting of blood from ledt to right, increases the blood volume and blood pressure in the right side of the heart, leading to an increase in diameter of the pulmonary artery than the aorta.
- 3. patent foramen ovale - found in 25% of adults and is normally not functional. if it is, paradoxical embolism can occur. Paradoxical embolism is when a thrombus from DVT travels to the right side of the heart, travels through the ASD, where it enters the left atrium, left ventricle and aorta where it enters the systemic circulation.
- 4. sinus venosus defect - uncommon, upper part of interatrial septum is affected.
Complications of ASD - paradoxical embolism, pulmonary hypertension- eft to rght shunt - more blood into right side of heart, more blood to lungs, pressure in lungs increase), right ventricular hypertrophy (more blood, compensatory hypertrophy of RV), heart failure, bacterial endocarditis.
3. Ventricular Septal Defect - intraventricular muscular ridge grows from apex towards endocardial cushions, membraneous portion last to form and is the most common site for VSD. if large/ do not close, reversal of flow (R-L shunt) and cyanosis occurs
EISENMENGER COMPLEX - reversal of shunt.
4. AV septal defect
Mnemonic for Left to Right shunt - PAVA
Congenital Heart Disease part 1
Definition - abnormalities of the heart/great vessels present from birth
aetiology - idiopathic, genetic ( turner's syndrome, trisomies 13,15,18,21), environmental (rubella, thalidomide, alcohol, oestrogenic steroids, lithium, phenytoin)
4 major subgroups
1. Right to left shunt
2. Left to right shunt
3. obstructive
4. no shunt
what is a shunt? it is an abnormal communication between chambers or blood vessels.
Right to left shunt (cyanotic)
1. Patent truncus arteriosus - due to failure of truncus arteriousus to separate into aorta and pulmonary artery. single artery receiving blood from both ventricles. always overides a VSD. complications = heart failure, recurrent respi tract infections, early death.
2. Tetralogy of Fallot - 4 features!!!
- 1. VSD - malaligned membraneous location
- 2. Right ventricular hypertrophy - RV outflow obstruction leading to increased right pressure leading to compensatory RV hypertrophy.
3. subpulmonary stenosis - narrowing of pulmonary valve leading RV outflow obstruction.
- 4. dextraposed aortic root that overrides VSD - aorta shifted to the right instead of the usual left.
ASD may sometimes be present. TOF presents with dyspnea, squatting position of child, cerebral thrombosis, clubbing. Surgery offers excellent results
3. Transposition of great vessels - aorta rises from the right ventricle, pulmonary artery rises fomr the left ventricle. Atria-ventricular connections are normal. Due to abnormal formation of truncal and aortopulmonary septa, CYANOSIS IS PREDOMINANT. May be associated with VSD, PDA and ASD.
4. Tricuspid atresia - complete occlusion of the tricuspid valve orifice. Due to unequal division of the AV canal. Mitral valve will be larger than normal, hypoplasia of RV noted, right to left shunt via interatrial communication. Ebstein malformation - downward displacement of abnormal valve into right ventricle. ventricle divides into atrialized ventricle and functional ventricle.leads to arrythmias, tachycardia, palpitations, sudden death, right ventricular dilation.
Mnemonic for Right to left shunt - PT3 - one P for Persistant Truncus arteriosus, 3 T's for Tetralogy of Fallot, Tricuspid atresia and Transposition of great vessels.
Friday, June 12, 2009
100 questions.
Bored and Random.
1. Last beverage→ Milo (worlds greatest chocolate drink)
2. Last phone call→ from a Singaporean nut *loves her*
3. Last text message→ from Ida
4. Last song you listened to→ Good girls go bad by Cobra Starship feat Leighton Meester.
5. Last time you cried→ ten minutes ago...freakout moment thinking of exams and how much i have left to do.
6.HAVE YOU EVER dated someone twice → nope
7. Been cheated on? --> No
8. Kissed someone & regretted it? → nope
9. Lost someone special? → grandma
10. Been depressed? → my constant emotional condition right now
11. Been drunk? –yup.felt like crap the next morning
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12.13.14. purple, balck ,green
THIS LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:
15. Made new friends → Yes :)
16. Fallen out of love --> Nope
17. Laughed until you cried → YES!!!lol. still makes me laugh.
18. Met someone who changed you- not really.
19. Found out who your true friends were→ YES
20. Found out someone was talking about you→ yes...and boy did it hurt!!
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list→ yes...but all platonic unfortch.sigh.
23. How many kids do you want to have→ do be honest, none. i'd like to adopt.have my own kids?no...too many bad bad people out there.
24. Do you have any pets → nope, learnt my lesson after the 8th pet fish i had died on me. all them fish lived with me prob for like 2 weeks, average.
25. Do you want to change your name --> No!!!i'll die with the name my parents gave me.
26. What did you do for your last birthday? → studied,studied and hmm lets see..oh yeah, studied.
27. What time did you wake up today --> 7 am *groan*
28. What were you doing at midnight last night→ watching Project Runway season 4, episode 6 on youtube (yay youtube!!)...that Hedda Lettuce is something fierce.
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for →my exam results.so i can go jump of a cliff.
30. Last time you saw your father→ at two pm *sniff*
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life→ that i wasnt such an effing procrastinator
32. What are you listening to right now → David Archuleta's album...which is called David Archuleta. original much?its not too bad though. a bit generic, but some songs i really like. like the second track called "touch my hand". good melody.
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom → nope and i wld like too. as well as to people called Dick and Harry. oh wait..most of my guy friends are Dicks.
34. What's getting on your nerves right now? --> the respiratory system!!!eff you!!!
36. What's your favourite book? --> ain't she sweet by susan elizabeth philips...yes its romantic fluff..but its GOOD romantic fluff.
37. Relationship Status → single and a scrooge.
38. Zodiac sign: Leo
39. Male or female→ Female
40. Single child? ---> God, no.
41. Sister or Brother?---> Sister. and one is enough, thank you.
42. Angel or Devil?---> who?my sister?brat.
43. Hair colour →black
44. Long or short → this question is discriminatory to people with medium length hair.
45. Height → 5 feet 5/6? can't remember.
46. Do you have a crush on someone? : ummm yessss..and boy is he DREAMY!!!
47. What do you like about yourself? → hmmm...my sense of humour.
48. Piercings → 1.ears.
49. Tattoos → none, but hoping that will change soon. i just need to get over the idea of needles poking into me over and over and over again.
50. Righty or lefty → Righty
FIRSTS :
51. First surgery → an ingrown toenail...well ok that wasnt a surgery...and ok i didnt have it.
52. First piercing → Ears
53. First tattoo→ - none
54. First best friend → MWSC
55. First sport you joined → Tennis
56. First pet → A fish. prob called Angel and prob died two weeks after coming to live with me.
57. First vacation→ UK...must've been about 3.
58. First concert → never been to one. i live in Malaysia...not much scope for concerts, trust me.
59. First crush → Arun...who caught my heart coz of his brains, looks not so much.
60. First alcohol drink--> shot of whiskey, stolen from my whiskey glass.asked him if he'd rather i drink behind his back or in front of him...works everytime i want a sip of his alcoholic beverage, lol.
RIGHT NOW:
61. Eating → nothing.i'm stuffed, thank you very much.
62. Drinking --> H to the 2 to the O.
63. I'm about to → study TB
64. Listening to → David Archuleta.
65. Waiting for → my mother and sister.
YOUR FUTURE :
66. Want kids? - biological?no.
67. Want to get married? – maybe
68. Careers in mind? – medical doctor.
WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE SEX OF YOUR CHOOSING?
69. Lips or eyes → lips
70. Hugs or kisses →both
71. Shorter or taller → taller
72. Older or Younger →doesnt matter
73. Romantic or spontaneous → spontaneous is always good.
74. Nice stomach or nice arms--> arms..damn who cares?
75. Tattoos or piercings—> tattoos!!!sexay!!
76. Sensitive or loud → sensitive, coz i'm already loud.
77. Hook-up or relationship → relationship
78. Trouble maker or hesitant→ Trouble maker ;)
HAVE YOU EVER :
79. Kissed a stranger → No
80. Drank hard liquor → does a shot of whiskey count?
81. Lost glasses/contacts → no actually, lol.
82. Sex on first date → if i'm not looking for or in a relationship at the time, sure, why not?
AFTER marriage.
83. Broken someone's heart ? --> questions 83 to 88 cannot be answered because, guess what, i'm not married!!!
84. Had your own heart broken?
85. Been arrested?
86. Turned someone down?
87. Cried when someone died ?
88. Liked a friend that is a girl?
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
89. Yourself → sometimes
90. Miracles → yes..like the time a medical student thought she was going to fail an exam and holy guacamole!!!she passed it!!! *please God,please*
91. Love at first sight → Yes
92. Heaven →sometimes
93. Santa Claus → YES!!!and woe betide anyone who tries to tell me differently.
94. Kissing on the first date? → same answer as question 82.
95. Angels → sometimes.
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
96. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → yes. DREAMY boy.
97. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? → sigh, no. what an experience that would have been!!
98. Do you believe its possible to remain faithful forever?-->sure.
99. What's the one thing you cannot live without? -->food.like i dont just eat to live...i actually live to eat...i LOVE food.which explains my current weight.
100. who’s the most awesome kid ever?--->my sister, the brat.
1. Last beverage→ Milo (worlds greatest chocolate drink)
2. Last phone call→ from a Singaporean nut *loves her*
3. Last text message→ from Ida
4. Last song you listened to→ Good girls go bad by Cobra Starship feat Leighton Meester.
5. Last time you cried→ ten minutes ago...freakout moment thinking of exams and how much i have left to do.
6.HAVE YOU EVER dated someone twice → nope
7. Been cheated on? --> No
8. Kissed someone & regretted it? → nope
9. Lost someone special? → grandma
10. Been depressed? → my constant emotional condition right now
11. Been drunk? –yup.felt like crap the next morning
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12.13.14. purple, balck ,green
THIS LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:
15. Made new friends → Yes :)
16. Fallen out of love --> Nope
17. Laughed until you cried → YES!!!lol. still makes me laugh.
18. Met someone who changed you- not really.
19. Found out who your true friends were→ YES
20. Found out someone was talking about you→ yes...and boy did it hurt!!
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list→ yes...but all platonic unfortch.sigh.
23. How many kids do you want to have→ do be honest, none. i'd like to adopt.have my own kids?no...too many bad bad people out there.
24. Do you have any pets → nope, learnt my lesson after the 8th pet fish i had died on me. all them fish lived with me prob for like 2 weeks, average.
25. Do you want to change your name --> No!!!i'll die with the name my parents gave me.
26. What did you do for your last birthday? → studied,studied and hmm lets see..oh yeah, studied.
27. What time did you wake up today --> 7 am *groan*
28. What were you doing at midnight last night→ watching Project Runway season 4, episode 6 on youtube (yay youtube!!)...that Hedda Lettuce is something fierce.
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for →my exam results.so i can go jump of a cliff.
30. Last time you saw your father→ at two pm *sniff*
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life→ that i wasnt such an effing procrastinator
32. What are you listening to right now → David Archuleta's album...which is called David Archuleta. original much?its not too bad though. a bit generic, but some songs i really like. like the second track called "touch my hand". good melody.
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom → nope and i wld like too. as well as to people called Dick and Harry. oh wait..most of my guy friends are Dicks.
34. What's getting on your nerves right now? --> the respiratory system!!!eff you!!!
36. What's your favourite book? --> ain't she sweet by susan elizabeth philips...yes its romantic fluff..but its GOOD romantic fluff.
37. Relationship Status → single and a scrooge.
38. Zodiac sign: Leo
39. Male or female→ Female
40. Single child? ---> God, no.
41. Sister or Brother?---> Sister. and one is enough, thank you.
42. Angel or Devil?---> who?my sister?brat.
43. Hair colour →black
44. Long or short → this question is discriminatory to people with medium length hair.
45. Height → 5 feet 5/6? can't remember.
46. Do you have a crush on someone? : ummm yessss..and boy is he DREAMY!!!
47. What do you like about yourself? → hmmm...my sense of humour.
48. Piercings → 1.ears.
49. Tattoos → none, but hoping that will change soon. i just need to get over the idea of needles poking into me over and over and over again.
50. Righty or lefty → Righty
FIRSTS :
51. First surgery → an ingrown toenail...well ok that wasnt a surgery...and ok i didnt have it.
52. First piercing → Ears
53. First tattoo→ - none
54. First best friend → MWSC
55. First sport you joined → Tennis
56. First pet → A fish. prob called Angel and prob died two weeks after coming to live with me.
57. First vacation→ UK...must've been about 3.
58. First concert → never been to one. i live in Malaysia...not much scope for concerts, trust me.
59. First crush → Arun...who caught my heart coz of his brains, looks not so much.
60. First alcohol drink--> shot of whiskey, stolen from my whiskey glass.asked him if he'd rather i drink behind his back or in front of him...works everytime i want a sip of his alcoholic beverage, lol.
RIGHT NOW:
61. Eating → nothing.i'm stuffed, thank you very much.
62. Drinking --> H to the 2 to the O.
63. I'm about to → study TB
64. Listening to → David Archuleta.
65. Waiting for → my mother and sister.
YOUR FUTURE :
66. Want kids? - biological?no.
67. Want to get married? – maybe
68. Careers in mind? – medical doctor.
WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE SEX OF YOUR CHOOSING?
69. Lips or eyes → lips
70. Hugs or kisses →both
71. Shorter or taller → taller
72. Older or Younger →doesnt matter
73. Romantic or spontaneous → spontaneous is always good.
74. Nice stomach or nice arms--> arms..damn who cares?
75. Tattoos or piercings—> tattoos!!!sexay!!
76. Sensitive or loud → sensitive, coz i'm already loud.
77. Hook-up or relationship → relationship
78. Trouble maker or hesitant→ Trouble maker ;)
HAVE YOU EVER :
79. Kissed a stranger → No
80. Drank hard liquor → does a shot of whiskey count?
81. Lost glasses/contacts → no actually, lol.
82. Sex on first date → if i'm not looking for or in a relationship at the time, sure, why not?
AFTER marriage.
83. Broken someone's heart ? --> questions 83 to 88 cannot be answered because, guess what, i'm not married!!!
84. Had your own heart broken?
85. Been arrested?
86. Turned someone down?
87. Cried when someone died ?
88. Liked a friend that is a girl?
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
89. Yourself → sometimes
90. Miracles → yes..like the time a medical student thought she was going to fail an exam and holy guacamole!!!she passed it!!! *please God,please*
91. Love at first sight → Yes
92. Heaven →sometimes
93. Santa Claus → YES!!!and woe betide anyone who tries to tell me differently.
94. Kissing on the first date? → same answer as question 82.
95. Angels → sometimes.
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
96. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → yes. DREAMY boy.
97. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? → sigh, no. what an experience that would have been!!
98. Do you believe its possible to remain faithful forever?-->sure.
99. What's the one thing you cannot live without? -->food.like i dont just eat to live...i actually live to eat...i LOVE food.which explains my current weight.
100. who’s the most awesome kid ever?--->my sister, the brat.
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